Wolphins and Turtle Sex.

Today I knocked one more thing off of my "Epic Things To Accomplish Before World Domination" list. I swam with dolphins. Even cooler, I swam with a Wolphin.
When I heard "Wolphin," I thought "Walrus/Dolphin? Wtf?"

 It was definitely not a walrus/dolphin (pictured above). A Wolphin is actually half False Killer Whale, half Bottlenose Dolphin. Pretty much the Liger of the sea.

...And did I mention, FREAKING ADORABLE?!? Yup. She took me for a bellyride and gave me kisses. Lots of kisses. It was pretty much the hottest makeout session ever, although she smelled like fish.  I said the relationship was moving too fast and I needed to take a break. Annoyed, she moved onto the next adoring tourist.

 The sealife center here on Oahu (where my family and I are currently vacationing) is pretty cool. The only thing that would make it spectacular would be sharks with laser-beams on their heads. I'm determined to own a pool full of them someday, Dr. Evil-style.
Alas, no lethal sharks.
But there was live turtle porn.

I think out of every creature in the animal kingdom, sex must be the most boring for sea turtles. They don't do ANYTHING. I'm pretty sure the male was asleep half the time...reminded me of some old married couple.

Anyway, I hope you're having a good day. If not, Dr. Rachel prescribes a teaspoon of funny. Here's a video. Do not use if you are easily offended.



Have a great day!